"Lacey Junell knows exactly what it means to love her daughter Katya." |
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But contrary to what you might think, that lesson-in-love started far before Katya’s adoption from Bulgaria in 2019. Before the surprise diagnoses, and seeming endless medical appointments, and deduction of her trauma triggers. Before Junell even knew about Katya’s existence, in fact.
“I had my first lesson in the value of life at 16 when I discovered I was pregnant with my oldest,” she says. “My life ceased to be about me and was instead centered around this tiny human who depended on me. I was happy to step up and become what he deserved me to be.”
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That son is now 15 and a big brother to Katya, age six. He has watched other kids come and go ― or come and stay ― in his family’s western Washington home over the years. Some have been biological siblings, while others have arrived via kinship or guardianship placements.
All have been Junell’s tiny teachers.
“I have learned to be a fierce advocate for children whose voice is not heard,” she says. “I have learned the best things in life often come with the biggest struggles and the most beautiful rewards.”
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Her latest reward is mothering Katya, all sweet-and-spicy and morning grouchiness and silliness rolled into a pixie face framed by beautiful black curls. But make no mistake; this girl does not belong to the Junells, per se. Her story and heart are entirely her own, and she is unafraid to nonverbally let you know it.
“We chose this life for her, so we work very hard to make sure we are providing her with the best life we can and fostering connections with her heritage whenever possible,” Junell says. “Attachment is a long and slow process, but I do believe the best thing about her is that she was willing to let us love her.”
Junell first saw Katya’s face in 2017, a point in time when she and her husband Dean had no intention of adopting, internationally or otherwise. The couple does not believe in fate or destiny ― but there was something about Katya (then called “Neli” on Reece’s Rainbow) that Lacey couldn’t shake.
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She inquired about the toddler. But another family was coming for her. Somewhat inexplicably, Junell was heartbroken.
“I spent those months feeling like I had been gutted, and simultaneously feeling so silly for feeling that way about a child who was never mine,” she said. “I was grief-stricken to lose the opportunity to get to be her mom.”
A half-year later, however, her half-heart was made whole again: Katya was available. Were the Junells still interested?
“There was this tiny child who needed a family, and it was simple enough to decide we could be that family,” Junell said. In other words, a resounding yes.
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The family got to work, fundraising pennies wherever and however possible. Junell put her crafty talent to good use, crocheting, Christmas ornament-ing, peg people-ing ― even painting names on helmets for Dean’s firefighter paramedic coworkers. There were car washes, bake sales, Easter egg hunts. Monetary adoption grants from various organizations helped, too, including Reece’s Rainbow’s own Anonymous Angels.
It somehow added up to enough. Almost-four-year-old Katya ― the name given by her biological mother ― became Katya James Junell, in honor of a little brother Dean lost the previous year.
And then the chaos began.
The same week the Junells were in Bulgaria for pickup, Lacey started an online bachelor’s program in elementary education. Katya’s three new siblings fought over whose turn it was to play with or hold her. Appointments came at them with the ferocity and speed of cannonballs. Seizures dominated Katya’s beautiful body 10 times a day. G-tubes; vagus nerve stimulator; trauma; meds; low muscle tone; triggers ― they all blended into an exhausted new vocabulary and familiarity.
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And yet, day after survival day, things began changing. Katya went from size 18-months clothing to 6X in just three years. She now sits independently, gleefully clearing any shelf or table within reach, and is walking with assistance. Where she once was timid, she is now a thrill-seeker. She has morphed into an ardent football and baseball fan, of all things.
It wasn’t just Katya changing, either; Junell felt herself becoming a more vocal speaker-upper for those with disabilities. Relationships where people “othered” Katya faded in importance. She still cringes when someone proclaims Katya’s luck in becoming a Junell. Katya’s ideal life, her adoptive mama knows, would be with her first family and therefore avoidance of loss and adoption trauma.
“We are the lucky ones to get to have and love her as our daughter, not the other way around,” Junell says.
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The family recently returned from a Make-A-Wish trip to a theme park. Katya giggled and smiled enough to fill the Florida sky, riding every attraction she qualified for. Lacey and Dean basked in their youngest’s joy, the magic of second-chance childhood settling over them like the constant sunshine.
“We’re here for whatever life may look like,” Junell says. “We don’t need a fairytale; we just need her.”
And that’s exactly what loving Katya means:
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A family made complete by the presence of a soul they never knew they needed. |
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Crystal Kupper is a freelance writer specializing in magazines and special projects. Since earning her journalism degree, she has written for clients such as Zondervan, Focus on the Family and the Salvation Army, among many others. |
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REECE'S RAINBOW • www.reecesrainbow.org |
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