Sarah Meyer fought so hard. So, so hard. |
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“I attended all the state calls, went to [Washington] D.C. and appealed to politicians, filed any paperwork that was suggested to even have a chance to continue,” she says. “But as we know now, none of it worked.”
Vladimir Putin made sure of that. When he signed what became known around the world as the Dima Yakovlev law in late 2012, he succinctly put an end to all American adoptions in Russia. The move ― widely seen as political retaliation against the United States ― left thousands of adoptable orphans stranded in institutions around Russia.
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Including Lizzy.
Meyer had felt connected to Lizzy, a Russian girl with Down Syndrome, almost as soon as she saw her profile on Reece’s Rainbow. Even better, Russia accepted single mothers like her. Meyer was scheduled to travel just after the New Year in 2013.
The vindictive ban went into effect on January 1.
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“Per my agency’s recommendation, I slowed down on paperwork toward the end of November so I wasn’t ‘stuck’ in-country during their holiday shutdown in December and would travel right after they re-opened,” Meyer explains. In the end, even if she had hurried to Russia in November, it wouldn’t have mattered; the adoption would not have been complete by Putin’s decree.
Meyer calls the loss of Lizzy “crushing.”
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“I felt in every ounce of my being that she was my daughter and I was supposed to be her mama, and that was ended before it could even really begin,” she laments. “It was very hard to move forward.”
Yet Meyer did. Hadn’t she already done so in 2011, when she ended a romantic relationship, quit her job and moved 1000 miles away in search of something better? She had always wanted to be a mom and even focused on children with special needs as a therapeutic recreation specialist. Adoption of a child with major disabilities, she figured, was a given. A friend sent a video of a girl talking about her little brother who had Down Syndrome. He had been adopted from Bulgaria and was, quite simply, amazing. The sweet clip led Meyer to Reece’s Rainbow.
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While she was still grieving, a Facebook friend was in Colombia picking up her new daughter. An agency worker shared the file of “Seraphina,” an adorable Colombian toddler with a perfectly round face and Down Syndrome. That friend passed on the file to Meyer ― and she was smitten, even without any initial photos.
“There were only a few sentences in her initial listing, but they described her as ‘tender’ and talked about her ‘facial expressions lighting up the room,’” Meyer remembers. “Something about the few words shared just hit home.”
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Seraphina was destined to become Maria Josefina, “Josie” for short. Meyer traveled in 2014 to the South American nation, quickly becoming enchanted with its beauty and people. Josie, meanwhile, was quite ill when her new mother picked her up from the orphanage, so much so that the in-country representative was “horrified at the lack of medical care she’d been given.” Mother and daughter immediately headed to a doctor, the size six- to nine-months clothing hanging from Josie’s three-year-old frame.
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“Our first few days, she slept a lot, didn’t know how to allow herself to be comforted by an adult, didn’t react to much,” Meyer says. “But when her personality did shine through, I knew she was a fighter.” Like her mama.
Once back in the States, Meyer tackled Josie’s nutritional needs, medical appointments, tests, diagnoses and procedures. Despite Josie being dubbed “The Queen of Incidental Findings” by many specialists, the efforts worked. Today, she’s 11 years old and a “big joyful kid, thriving and loving life.”
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“She is now almost on the adapted growth chart for individuals with Down Syndrome, which I never thought she’d ever come close,” Meyer says. “While she does still have pretty significant delays, she has grown so much. She has close friends, interests and activities that bring her so much joy.”
The Meyers now live in Maryland, a happy duo. Meyer still thinks about Lizzy, of course, especially during quiet moments. Will Lizzy ever know how much she was loved? What would their lives be like if the two shared the same last name?
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But then Josie pipes up (“She is super-expressive and can be very dramatic”) and looks into her mother’s eyes. And Meyer feels it ― that unique soul connection that comes from nowhere else but this exact girl.
“I look at this amazing child sitting next to me and think that if that [Russian adoption] process hadn’t been halted, Josie would not be here today, and that is unfathomable,” she says. “I cannot even begin to think of not having her in my life and not getting to be her mama.”
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That fight for Lizzy so many years ago dissolved into questions that may never be answered. “Will I ever understand why that door had to be closed for another to be opened, so to speak? Nope,” Meyer emphasizes.
“But I know that had that door not been closed, had I not had to endure that heartache, I never would have known what it was like to love Josie.”
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A bittersweet surrender of sorts ― and yet Meyer is somehow still the victor. |
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Crystal Kupper is a freelance writer specializing in magazines and special projects. Since earning her journalism degree, she has written for clients such as Zondervan, Focus on the Family and the Salvation Army, among many others. |
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REECE'S RAINBOW | www.reecesrainbow.org |
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