A lot of things in Katya Bukowski’s life have not worked out as she first planned. |
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Take her address, for example. The information technology advisor left her native Russia for the United States in 2000, thinking she would learn English, save money for a down payment on a house and head back home. Twenty-two years, a husband named Jim and seven kids later, Katya is a committed Illinois woman.
About 15 years ago, when Bukowski was pregnant with her third, she discovered Reece’s Rainbow. As an Eastern European, the idea of adopting a child from that part of the world captivated her, and she began dreaming.
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“Right away, I thought, ‘Wow, this is it. I’m going to have my third child and then we’re going to adopt one,’” Bukowski says. “But it didn’t work that way.”
Indeed it didn’t. Katya and Jim had three more children before the idea of adoption seriously crossed their minds again. But in 2016, she was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. “Adoption was definitely not on my radar at that time,” she says. “I was just trying to survive and get through.”
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Even without his wife’s diagnosis, Jim, an accountant, wasn’t wild about the initial idea of special needs adoption. “Katya, you’re crazy!” he would laugh when she showed him photo after photo of Reece’s Rainbow kids. “We’re both working parents; we don’t have the time or money. If we were to win the lottery, we would adopt tomorrow. But not now.”
The Bukowskis (ages 44 and 57) still have not won the lottery. But a little Bulgarian five-year-old named Samuel (Sammy for short) is now part of their family. Some might say that means that Katya won.
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But when you consider how loved Sammy is by every member of the Bukowski family, it quickly becomes clear that they all did.
“He is so hilarious: his body language, expressions, the way he gets excited about things and how he puts different outfits together and looks at himself in the mirror,” his new mom says. “He makes us laugh every day at something he does.”
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Here’s how it happened:
after the challenges of 2016 ended, Bukowski hopped back on Reece’s Rainbow’s website. The year was 2019, and “I saw this cute little baby.” It was three-year-old Sammy. The toddler’s main diagnosis was cystic fibrosis, though more were on the way, including deafness, developmental delays and malnutrition.
Sammy (code-named Simon on Reece’s Rainbow) lived at Bulgaria’s infamous Pleven orphanage. He was “super-skinny” and was surviving in “very disturbing” conditions, according to Bukowski. She showed his photo to Jim: “I think we should adopt him.” She waited, fully expecting him to say no, like always.
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Instead, Jim shocked his wife with four words: “Sure, let’s go ahead.” Suddenly, it was Katya who was scared! She had spent so many years dreaming of this moment that its arrival felt surreal.
“If you’re around the adoption world long enough,” Bukowski says, “then you know it’s not all happy stories.”
But they forged ahead. When Bukowski flew to meet him in January 2020, she saw that Sammy was in bad shape. He weighed less than 20 pounds, had a mouthful of missing and rotten teeth, was nonverbal and used a leaky ileostomy bag.
“There’s only so many times you can change or shower him,” Bukowski says.
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Family looks good on him. Sammy has almost doubled his weight, can run on uneven surfaces, says “mama” and “bye,” goes to school and signs full sentences. “He looks good and healthy,” Bukowski says. “They’re no longer talking about a feeding tube.”
Expect the unexpected, then. Just when Bukowski thinks she knows what’s around life’s corner, she is usually proven otherwise. But look at the result: a family of nine, that, while imperfect, is tightly bound.
“To be a part of a community where there are other families who have also adopted a child with special needs is hugely helpful,” she says. “I have been hoping to make it to a Reece’s Rainbow reunion, but you know…”
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Take a guess: it didn’t work out as planned. But Sammy has a perfect sign for this and every other unexpected situation: |
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Crystal Kupper is a freelance writer specializing in magazines and special projects. Since earning her journalism degree, she has written for clients such as Zondervan, Focus on the Family and the Salvation Army, among many others. |
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REECE'S RAINBOW | www.reecesrainbow.org |
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